I think of myself as a woman of many talents; I’m fluent in three languages, a competitive knitter, and an amateur circus performer, just to name a few. However, I pride myself and my worth on being a professional eavesdropper.
This skill was something I picked up as a child with too much free time and a very active imagination. At first, it was merely a way to pass time. I would hear part of the conversation and finish the rest of the story in my head. As I got older, I quickly realised that this was something I could use to my advantage in many ways. The list below has been compiled over 15 years of listening and practicing.
How to use Eaves Dropping to your advantage:
1- you can learn small facts about people they would never have told you themselves
2- you can learn about events going on (such as while writing this, I learned about a rave happening on Camden street this Friday)
3- being able to build your data information bank
4- check to make sure people are saying the things about you that you want them to say
5- you can understand others' perceptions of the world
6- give yourself a good little laugh
Most people casually eavesdrop, which is fine, but there is so much more potential than just picking up a word or two in a passing conversation. So here is everything you need to know about how to hear more than what you are listening for.
Start with yourself, how are you sitting or standing? What direction are you facing in accordance with your victims? How are you in relation to the space you both are in? Position yourself as to not be intimidating. You are small. You are not a threat. You are not discovering their deepest secrets in the middle cart of the luas.
Who are they talking to? Are they on the phone? Are they happy to be sharing this information? If they are happy, you have more room for mistakes. You can lean a bit closer, listen a bit more intensely without worrying about your facial expression. If they are on the phone, so are you. Text, type, call a fake person. Mimic their energy to the best of your ability, they will feel this as comfortable and you will not stand out to them.
How are they sitting or standing? Are they smiling or flailing their hands? Was it hard to hear them? Understanding how they were talking is as important as what was said. Notice their tone and if they were cautious about letting people hear. Pay attention to what their body is telling you and how they are telling it. If you can assess what meaning is lying under their words… you will thrive as an eavesdropper.
Now, with all of this golden information, go out into the world and see what you can learn. Maybe you will outrank me in my eaves dropper profession. Remember, stay nimble and quick and most importantly… don’t get caught. Or if you do, don’t blame me.