How commuting is tearing students apart.
After almost two years of commuting to college I have become spiritually in tune with the Irish Rail train service. It happened after a particularly rough day of commuting, one that involved 4 hours of delayed trains back and forth from Drogheda. I suddenly lost the ability to tell where I ended and the train began. Some might say a mild psychotic episode ensued. As the train wheels screeched along the track, I realised that I had always been on this train. I would always be on this train. Myself and the train had become one.
Scientific research determines that a 'bearable' commute is 45 minutes in length. Yet the majority of people spend one to two hours a day commuting. This leads to a phenomenon known as commuter psychosis, a delusion that takes over the mind after an unhealthy exposure to Irish public transport. It is characterised by a spike in blood pressure and a loss of faith in government institutions. This phenomenon is commonly observed in college students, many of whom spend more time on public transport than they do receiving an education.
The truth is that the commuting student and non-commuting student are two distinct species of animal. If you observe a commuting student in the wild, you will notice that they run in packs based on their commuter area. This allows them to spend hours complaining about their commute, which is a necessary form of therapy for the commuting student. I myself have developed entire relationships dedicated to cursing the satanic forces of Irish Rail.
As no two commutes are the same, brawls will often break out between the different commuter groups. As a barbaric hazing ritual, Irish Rail forbids the use of leap cards outside of Dublin County, leading to a more expensive commute. While a weekly student train fare from Balbriggan to Dublin is capped at €14.80, a student from Drogheda spends up to €50 a week for a commute only 15 minutes longer. Thus, the divide between the leap card and non leap card holders is deeper than that of the Republican and Democratic party. Yet, they share a common enemy in the shape of the non-commuting student.
The non-commuter is a rare and mystifying species of college student. While they attempt to befriend commuting students, they can never truly co-exist, due to the unhealthy levels of hatred the commuters harbour against them. The non-commuting species lives 20-30 minutes from campus and still manages to miss their 9am lecture. Sure, they pay 1500 a month to live in a dilapidated shed, but have they endured the psychological torture of the 5:30 wake up? Clearly there is no comparison.
Public transportation reveals a frightening side of humanity. Anyone who commutes for several hours a day will understand the change in brain chemistry that occurs during rush hour. Upon entering the train, survival instincts immediately kick in.
"You need to be calculated" explains train expert Eilish Daly, "grown men would willingly throw you on the track for a nice non priority two seater." Many have speculated that the 5 o'clock train evening service is actually a government designed psychological experiment.
A commuter who wishes to remain anonymous, once became so overheated standing on a packed train that she violently threw up on herself. “No one offered me a seat.” Passengers stared at her, contemplating whether emigration would be a better than another day of this torture. I don’t blame them, I wouldn't have offered her a seat either. It's every man for themselves under these conditions.
Last spring I was travelling home during a rare heatwave. The train was unusually crowded with overheated and sweaty passengers suffering from a severe lack of air conditioning. When the train stopped due to a delay, passengers began to appear frantic. Suddenly, a woman standing across from me began to chant. Head bent and eyes shut, I realised that she was praying. Her voice rose in intensity until she was shouting in prayer. I’ve never related to anyone on a deeper spiritual level than in that moment. As her desperate cry filled the carriage, I too bent my head and prayed to get off the train. At that moment, each passenger became bonded in a shared hatred for Irish infrastructure. It was a deeply moving experience.
The commuting experience is unlike any other. It is an essential but often overlooked aspect of the college experience. While there are many advantages to commuting from home, the time spent on public transport consumes a huge portion of your mental and physical energy. Commuters are incapable of keeping up with non-commuting students. It is already challenging to balance college, work and a social life without committing to a long-term abusive relationship with Irish transport. If you’ve ever woken up at 6am and prepared a flask of vodka 14 hours before your night out, crying because you won’t be home until 5am and can’t afford alcohol due to the price of train tickets, you’ll understand the lunacy I’m talking about. Ultimately, something has to be sacrificed in order to maintain your sanity.